Self compassion to the rescue! Learn it. Use it.
(Alarm clock rings)
I should have put the leftovers away so lunch would be ready to go.
Oh no! I forgot that today is Dr. Seuss' birthday. I wanted to make green eggs and ham for the kidlets. I'm the worst mom. I never do anything fun for them.
I could shower or save the 5 minutes and do the dry shampoo trick. I'll dry shampoo. I am so lazy. And disgusting. Why can't I get my act together?
Great. It's no wonder I don't have many friends. Look at me. I can't even get on the treadmill when I wake up. How will I ever accomplish anything in life when I have zero self discipline? People know I suck at life. I suck at life. I SUCK AT LIFE!
And that's in the first 10 seconds of your eyes opening. I know how exhausted you are when it's late, and you finally close your eyes to sleep again.
Friends, many of us are in a personal state of crisis. Yes, I said crisis. When is the last time you listened without judgement to the words you are telling yourself constantly? When is the last time you actively thought about showing up for yourself in a COMPASSIONATE way?
Self Compassion....what is that???
Simply put, self compassion is the act of viewing and treating yourself with kindness, acceptance, and care.
Sounds simple enough, yet most of us are not automatically wired to operate this way. We default to constantly criticizing over all things, big and small. Many times, things we aren't even really aware of.
Self Compassion....how do I start???
Take a minute right now to do an inventory scan of the thoughts you are currently having. Look in particular for an "I am." Pay close attention to the words after the "I am." What do you notice? Are they words you would choose to describe your child or your best friend? Are they words you would tell a stranger you passed in the street?
Now, if you are anything like I was, your words may sound something like, I am not even good at self compassion.
Stop. Right there. It's ok. This is where self compassion lives. It lives in the non-judgmental, it's ok space. Regardless of the personal beating you are giving yourself for whatever failings you think you possess. You are still lovable. You can still show yourself compassion and love. Right now.
Give yourself the space to imagine you talking to a little frail woman crossing the street. Would you berate her for moving slow? Or would you see her aging frail body and recognize that she has had a lifetime of experiences that brought her to this moment in time?
TREAT YOURSELF LIKE THAT. You are a wondrous person who has had a LIFETIME, your lifetime, of experiences. No one has walked your journey. You are special by nature and made from the same energy as the stars. Re-frame whatever language you were just using, and speak one sentence to yourself from this more loving mindset. Maybe try, I accept and love myself exactly as I am.
It might sound weird to you. Or impossible. Or unbelievable. That's ok, too. Sit with it. Repeat it later. In fact, go write it on your mirror with soap right now. See it. Over and over. Every time, you will remember the idea that you deserve to be treated with compassion.
It is my hope that you will continue this practice of self discovery and compassion with me. I, too, am working to continually rewire my default settings.
All my love,